Feelings of Guilt While Working From Home? Some Tips
Listen to this episode!
In this episode:
I saw a meme that said today was March 97th, and I thought, “Yes! That is exactly what today feels like.” The days are long when you’re quarantined.
They’re even longer when your mind is anxious, you’re lonely, or you're juggling multiple responsibilities like caring for children and doing your job from home.
I’ve talked with several people in the past week who when talking about their experience working from home have brought up the feeling of guilt. Immediately, I knew what they were talking about. I’ve felt that burden of guilt related to my work many times in my life, but especially so when I first started working remotely.
When I think about what our world needs right now, I know that it’s definitely not guilt about lack of focus while working from home. So today I’m going to share some helpful tips about how to recognize & stop those feelings of guilt.
In this episode I share:
Why many people deal with feelings of guilt when they work from home
The unique pressures contributing to these feelings of guilt because of COVID-19
How to manage feelings of guilt, do great work and take care of yourself
Then, I’m answering a listener question from Mingi who asked for advice about improving his interviewing skills, after being offered several interviews, but now job offers.
Feelings of Guilt While Working From Home? —Some TIps
Why many people deal with feelings of guilt when they work from home
Less workplace distractions & tracking time (😩)
Did you know that for most office workers, it’s estimated that in an 8-hour work day, most people are only able to accomplish 4-6 hours of actual productive work?
All those friendly office conversations and impromptu meetings add up to a lot of time!
If you have found that you need to document your hours now that you’re working from home, you may find it feels very challenging to meet that 8-hour mark of work. This is a huge factor that leads to people feeling overwhelmed and guilty.
Now, I want to make it clear: tracking time is a horrible thing. No one enjoys it. I used to have to track my time in 15-minute increments because a lot of my work was billable to clients, and I hated it every.single.day.
*Sadly, I still need to track my time as a business owner to make sure I’m pricing appropriately for my coaching services & to invoice the companies I contract with.
I especially despised it once I began working remotely for that company. I found that I was able to accomplish a lot of my knowledge and project work a lot quicker than I had before. Because my team, who I love, were a chatty bunch. But that led me to the dilemma of managing my time sheet.
It was a weird time. I felt guilty for struggling to get 8 hours documented, but I also started to feel resentment because from a productivity perspective, I stood out--but we all know the wrong metrics can be counted in organizations.
In many organizations, employees who are the first in and last to leave tend to be regarded as the hardest workers, and are respected for that.
I have never understood that logic. Productivity is what matters, it’s what moves the needle.
When you’re working remotely, you have no way to show how “hard” you are working except by what you produce, and the problems you solve.
My best advice is to focus on the work that allows you to do those things. Being able to show what you’ve done is much more valuable than being able to show that you got your 8 hours in a day, but with little to show for it.
Here are some tips:
Be patient with yourself. Adapting is going to take time. It would have taken time no matter what, but especially now that there is extra uncertainty and concern in the world
Don’t worry about the time projects take, focus on completing quality work. Only deal with the time issue if it actually becomes an issue
Schedule phone calls or video chats with the coworkers you miss chatting with
Try to work with your body’s natural rhythm
If you have children at home, they are your new distracting coworkers. If they cut your productive work hours in half--it’s just like a normal workday! ;)
The unique pressures contributing to these feelings of guilt because of COVID-19
Unpreparedness for remote work
Before COVID-19, people who worked remotely ranked “communication & collaboration” as the biggest challenge of remote work. Think about how much more challenging this is when your entire company is thrown into the waters of remote work without having a chance to prepare.
Lots of people are scrambling right now. And I’m sure that even if you are comfortable and equipped to work remotely, you are feeling the effects of this.
Meetings starting late because of technical difficulties
Not being able to hear because Zoom cuts out, or too many people have their mics on
Constant emails with procedures, then new procedures, then edits to mistakes in the procedures
Notifications from Slack or Chat with people asking you questions, only to follow up 5 minutes later saying they have it figured out
Remote work can be SO annoying! But it is especially challenging now when so many people are still learning how to communicate and collaborate virtually all at once.
Here are some tips:
Give yourself grace
Forgive your coworkers
Turn off your notifications for a few hours a day
Take your meetings as a phone call and get outside for a walk, or fold laundry to keep your energy balanced
Be helpful, but also help others be self-sufficient (e.g. use www.loom.com or a similar service to record instructions and send people a link, rather than repeatedly answering the same question).
Working “around the clock”
There are so many people who are working long, intense hours right now. Healthcare workers, but also people in a lot of technology and social industries who are working to adapt their products and services to meet these new demands.
I know people whose 40-hour/week job has become a 60-70 hour/week job--and those are real hours spent working!
The internet and people’s emails are full of messages about what to do with your “extra” time, but for many workers, that doesn’t exist. They are working harder and longer than ever before. Some of them are feeling guilty because they are so exhausted, they aren’t able to keep up with the demands.
Here are some tips:
Have video meetings to discuss deliverables/expectations. I know it may seem like it takes too much time and using Slack or Chat messages would be quicker, but it will actually be much more efficient to ensure you’re all on the same page. The body language and screen sharing abilities on video chat make communications much stronger.
Make sure priorities are defined and your team knows what responsibilities belong to who
If a deadline isn’t achievable, express that and ask for help
Make sure your manager knows how much you are working
Extra ability to procrastinate
Since everything is cancelled, there isn’t as much pressure to finish work at a certain time of day. Procrastinating is easier to do when you don’t have the pressure of needing to wrap up a project so you can leave the office to go home, meet up with friends for a happy hour, head to a sporting event, or some other evening activity.
Procrastination typically leads to feelings of guilt, especially for people who are achievement-driven.
But at the same time, circle back to my first point about workplace distractions. Part of your procrastination could be because you have already completed the work you need to do, so you’re a bit directionless about how to spend your time.
I recently heard the analogy about how when we don’t feel motivated it is like an overcast, rainy day. Motivation is actually always present, it never leaves us, just as the blue sky is always present--it’s just sometimes covered up by clouds. The challenge, then, is to bring awareness to the clouds so that you can identify and accept them. By bringing our awareness to the fact that they are just clouds blocking our view of motivation, we become more equipped to navigate the obstacles and challenges that are holding us back from that blue sky of motivation.
Just take it day by day and evaluate where your headspace is at.
Here are some tips:
Create boundaries on your time or schedule “work hours” and “off hours”
Focus on accomplishing just three tasks a day (you may find you accomplish more!)
Remember that procrastination is normal, don’t beat yourself up about it
Take a walk or read something interesting to clear your mind
Have something to look forward to every day that you need to make time for
Heightened fear of losing jobs
I’ve heard friends talk about how their companies have turned into non-stop conference calls where everyone is trying to meet and organize things to appear busy and irreplaceable. It seems to be that this is most often happening at agency-type businesses where the companies provide services to other businesses.
Once essential agency services are not seeming as essential to many businesses that are struggling to make their revenue.
This is an extremely challenging position to be in. It’s essentially workplace panic. And many employees that are in it are feeling a sense of guilt for losing clients, not being able to keep up with the demand, or starting to feel disengaged with the work as a whole during a time of crisis.
If you find this describes your company, try to put up boundaries from letting that panic become your personal panic.
Here are some tips:
Do not let fear overtake you
Only focus on the work you can control
Gather the information and data you need to add to your resume/portfolio
Consider preparing for a career change if you know that’s not the best environment for you
How to manage feelings of guilt, do great work and take care of yourself
The big takeaway of this episode is that now is not the time to be motivated by guilt or weighed down by guilt.
While I believe that work is good and important, and that it plays an important role in our wellbeing, it is not the most important thing--especially during this challenging time.
Taking care of yourself mentally and physically, and caring for the loved ones in your life is most important. Meeting your needs or the needs of your family are not things to feel guilty about during this time.
We need people who are at peace right now. The work that you do to achieve peace for yourself and others is work well done.
I’d love to hear your thoughts on this episode, and where you’re at mentally and emotionally in this COVID-19 pandemic. Send me your thoughts, opinions and questions by going to jenniferspoelma.com/contact and sending me a message!
Weekly Listener Question
This week’s listener question is from Mingi.
He asked, “A couple of months ago I sought the help of a professional resume writer and had my resume rewritten before submitting it to some jobs I was interested in. It seemed like a great investment because I got 4 interviews! However, after all of the initial interviews, I never got a call back for a second round, or was given a job offer. I reached out to the people I interviewed with and asked for feedback, but now one has responded to those requests. I don’t know where I went wrong. How can I learn how to interview better if I don’t even know what I should improve?”
Hi Mingi, thank you for your question!
First of all, I commend you for being self-reflective and taking ownership to make sure you’re presenting yourself as well as you can throughout the job application and interview process.
It’s pretty common to not hear a response back when you ask about what you could improve on in an interview. It’s a bold question to ask, which I like. But it can also put the hiring manager in a weird spot. In fact, their company may even have policies against it. So, don’t take the lack of response personally.
The first thing I would recommend is to record yourself practice interviewing. Set up a webcam or your phone to be at eye level, and practice speaking to it as if it were the interviewer’s face.
When you watch the recording, I bet you’ll be able to pick up on a lot of things to work on! You’ll be more aware of things like sentences you didn’t finish, or let trail off, answers that were too vague and could be clarified, how well you answered the questions, and how engaging you were.
If you do this a few times, I think you’ll see drastic improvements in your interviewing abilities.
The second thing I want to mention is that this seems like a great scenario to consider working with a career coach. Especially if you already tried self-recording and auditing and are experiencing the same issue, it’s probably best to get professional insight.
Coaching for interview preparation can help you both with the content of your responses, as well as working through deeper things like imposter syndrome or insecurities. The goal is always to help you shine in a completely authentic way.
I hope those help, Mingi!
If you have a career coaching question you want answered, you can go to: jenniferspoelma.com/contact and use the form there to send me your question!
